What’s more gay?

The homosexuality innuendo and underlining story of Ang Lee’s latest film Brokeback Mountain or Dave White’s (MSNBC contributor and predominately gay man) attempt to wrangle heterosexual viewers to the theater to watch it?

The straight dude’s guide to “Brokeback” {MSNBC} (my comments are in italics)

I may or may not watch this movie, but I won’t be sold on the flick by reasons such as:

1. Accept the fact that this is all your fault in the first place

OK I never saw ‘Jarhead’ and just the tag line “Welcome to the Suck” just about sums up what I think about the movie before even attempting to go see it.

2. Realize now that you have to shut up

I don’t see how this applies to me, just ask Tim, Scott, Nicole (HI), Yomi etc…

3. The good news – there’s less than one minute of making out

Not sure this is a selling point for hetero men. Despite being “no homophobe”, “proud of yourself” and ‘very, very, very, very straight.’ for some, seeing this is still as appealing as when Renton, in the movie Trainspotting, coming off a heroin binge, goes diving into the “dirtiest toilet in Scotland” for his suppositories. I’d rather David just say get over it – this is more reality than you see on MTV.

4. Remember that it’s a western

Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly) is a western. BB is a love story set in Wyoming – get it straight!

5. They’re tortured and you get to feel sorry for them

The Jews were tortured and I should feel sorry for the Nazi’s? as in they’re the ones with the illusions in their head about what it means to be human.

6. Anne Hathaway, who plays AJ’s wife, gets topless. The End

OK got me, Anne is hot. But in a “Little House on the Prairie” kinda way so she can clean up well.

7. And finally, it’s just your turn

Yup, that kissing scene is about to start and its my turn to go get a refill on the popcorn… WTF are you talking about here? Its not the hetero-man’s fault for the number or type of “straight” vs “gay” films available for public viewing. I’d blame the mainstream movie industry for this, as the industry is ruled by money and focusing on pleasing American conservative values as their primary goal in making films that will garner the most profits from the general viewing audience.

The movie probably has all the proper Hollywood formulaic elements embedded in it to make it big: Hot lead characters, an emotionally powerful and forbidden love story, inner struggle about their secret lifestyle, questions and curiosity, animosity and hatred for the alternative lifestyle or love affair, and a lack of resolution that results in heartbreak felt by both the characters and the viewer.

The core audience for this will most likely be young women and more mature viewers in urban cities. The scenery might be breath-taking (shot in Canada), the music and direction right on par with Ang Lee’s other films, the acting well played and a controversial powerful story will make the film a contender for Oscars on some levels. however, I can’t see much of Wyoming wanting to buy into this story line (or much of the red states for that matter). I can just hear the parody songs coming out now “Momma don’t let your boys grow up to be Gay-cowboys”.

Unfortunately the media is billing this as “The gay-cowboy movie” which I think reduces the film to just another genre flick. I have heard from many friends that have seen the movie, they were both moved and enjoyed the film. To me, its another love story that I am not interested viewing and of my movie priority list I still have Syriana, Capote, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, A History of Violence and Munich above this one. Aside from “Kiss” these films are intended to effect the minds of all viewers despite their emotional and sexual preferences, of which I think is Ang’s goal in making films.