I wanted to share some bullshit from a former life…. this is a real letter, it happened and yes… I most certainly have moved on and let it go…
I used to send out Valentines cards more back in the day. Valentines is a sore subject and a worthless, Hallmark day driven fully by capitalism and not worthy of the term “holiday”. On Feb. 1, 1995 I received a Sierra Club card from a some chick I was dating and sent her a V-card. Apparently I hadn’t spoken to her in some time and she hadn’t talked called me back in a while either… if you care:
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Austin-
Hey handsome. How’s it going? Well, thanks a lot for the valentine’s card. I really liked it. Listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while but I guess I just keep putting it off. Anyway, I have really enjoyed all the time we have spent together and I hope we will continue to go out and do stuff together. I guess I have just had too many problems lately and most of the time I don’t know how the hell to handle life in general. I don’t know why we stopped seeing each other there for awhile. I guess we do have completely different schedules and other things to concentrate on so we just didn’t get the chance. I know we both deserve a second chance. Like starting our relationship over again and I would love to but I’m seeing someone else at the moment.
Listen, I’m not trying to dog you and I’m not trying to be a bitch. Please don’t hate me! Fuck. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. This is hard for me because I still want to see you but I’ve already made a commitment to someone else. I really don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do or say so please don’t be mad at me. I’m not just trying to throw you a shitty line but I really want to stay friends and stay in touch.
If you don’t have any plans this weekend, I wold love to go out with you. I know we would still have a good time. I apologize if I lead you on in any way or I have hurt your feelings in any way. Please understand that I really want to be friends still. I still want to spend time with you too. Mabye Saturday night we could go shoot some pool or see a movie or something. This tim it will be my treat =)
Listen, I really do believe you deserve someone better than me. I think that whoever that person is, they know how lucky they are to have a special guy like you.
Please promise me we’ll keep in touch and that you will always stay handsome. Once again, I hope you understand. Always XXXX
P.S. Call me and we’ll go out!
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I don’t know why I still have this. I think I kept it as a memory of things to come… Actually the separation was probably more my fault. I had usually a case of A.D.D. with my sports schedules, friends (priority over women) and the people I dated (which typically came third). I know at it wasn’t the sex well because I never had any with this girl… now I come to think about it, that was probably the problem! I do know that the guy she spoke of about dating in this letter, did have sex with her and as a consequence got her knocked up – of course he’s a bastard child now as he’s gone to college by now. Ah well I wish her well and hope it all worked out for her. I’m VERY happy for the situation I am in! Comment le parc va-t-il en ?t?