Aside from a full half hour of the funniest nothingness on television, even today, Seinfeld’s attraction to the hottest models in NY is one aspect of the show that adds to the absurd: how a lanky Jewish kid from long island can move to Manhattan and enter into a revolving door of weekly models and eyecandy for gfs added to the comedy. Yes, I know this is a decade old, but here’s my list of top 5 if it was still the 90’s:
5: Kristin Davis – She plays Jenna in the Pothole episode where Jerry accidentally drops her toothbrush into the toilet and she unknowingly brushes her teeth with it immediately after – she’s fastidious!
ELAINE: (into phone) Yuh, I’d like an order of supreme flounder, number forty-seven. Yeah, apartment one-Q.
JERRY: One-Q? Whose apartment is that?
ELAINE: That’s the janitor closet, across the street.
JERRY: You’re pretending to live in a janitor’s closet, just to get this flounder?
ELAINE: It’s better than eating it alone in the restaurant, like some loser.
4. Kathleen McClellan – She plays Melissa in the The Apology – the nudist that is Good Naked and Bad:
GEORGE, [at Monk’s with JERRY]: “So she coughed.”
JERRY: “Coughing… naked… It’s a turn-off, man.”
GEORGE: “Everything goes with naked.”
JERRY: “When you cough, there are thousands of unseen muscles that suddenly spring into action. It’s like watching that fat guy catch a cannonball in his stomach in slow motion.”
GEORGE: “Oh, you spoiled, spoiled man. Do you now how much mental energy I expend just trying to picture women naked?”
JERRY: “But the thing you don’t realize is that there’s good naked and bad naked. Naked hair brushing, good; naked crouching, bad…”
3. Teri Hatcher – She’s Sidra in the Implant episode: Teri maybe one of the more famous actresses, thanks to taking off after this show as Lois Lane and in her Desperate Housewives jobs. I’m sure many would put her in her prime at the top spot for Jerry’s girls, but I’ve got different tastes.
JERRY: “Why would I be a leg man? I don’t need legs. I have legs.”
SIDRA: “I think you’re both mentally ill. And by the way…they’re real, and they’re spectacular.”
2. Dylan Tays (aka Danette Vlaco) – She played Nikki in the Calzone episode. This is an obscure name because she never had much of an acting career. In the episode: Just before his 42nd birthday, Jerry gets a girlfriend who can get whatever she wants. He eventually loses her to Todd Gac, the guy who goes on dates with women without actually dating them. Apparently her real name is Danette Vlaco and several sites have her moving up (and down) the brass poll as a stripper in the LA area. Gotta use the talents some way eh?
GEORGE: “Beautiful women . You know they could get away with murder . You never she any of them lift anything over three pounds . They get whatever they want whenever they want it . You can’t stop them.”
JERRY: “She’s like a beautiful Godzilla.”
GEORGE: “Without thousands of fleeing Japanese.”
1. Lori Loughlin – In the Serenity Now episode (, she plays Patty, the gf that gets Jerry to show his anger and emotional side. Life is good for this NYer (LongIsland) who married a designer and is aging well into late cougar territory.
LLOYD BRAUN: You should tell your dad that “serenity now” stuff doesn’t work. It just stores up all your anger and then, eventually, you blow.
GEORGE: But you were in a mental institution.
LLOYD BRAUN: What do you think put me there? Serenity now… insanity later.