Tag: Christmas

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All I want for Christmas…

I had it out with the woman this week about the best modern Christmas songs (not a cover, originally written) that will eventually, if not already, will be come a classic. Of course we love to sing along with the carolers group, Hanky the Christmas Poo but my initial vote was for Mariah Carey’s contribution from 1994 even though this song is on many people’s best and worst lists.

My top favorite Christmas track is actually a cover but know one really knows who the real singer and song writer is so it doesn’t matter (fyi: Blue Christmas was written by Billy Hayes and Jay W. Johnson and first recorded by Ernest Tubb in 1948).

Some of my other favorites are Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas”, John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas (War is Over)”, Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)”, Adam Sandler’s “The Chanukah Song”, and some fun with “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” by Elmo & Patsy.

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Holidays at the Met

My woman and I took part in some traditional (and traditional I can refer to early 1800s music, or the whole act) New York experiences. We attended an evening classical concert at the Metropolitan Museum of Art last Thursday. We arrived shortly after work, and settled into the Medieval Sculpture Hall of the MET for the concert. An intimate setting in front of the classically decorated Christmas tree and a vivid 18th-century Neapolitan Baroque crèche. The embellished with a profuse array of diminutive, lifelike attendant figures and hovering, silk-robed angels, adorns the candlelit spruce. Aside from the Nautica dressed brats in the rows in front of me, the scene took me back to a 1700s church reception for the birth of Christ.

The Orpheus Chamber Orchestra (Official site) played two sessions of Johann Sebastian Bach’s, Cantata No. 133, Ich freue mich in dir, and Cantata No. 40, Dazu ist erschienen der Sohn Gottes; each if you can’t tell by name were sung in German. We attended the latter performance at 8:30 with a few friends.

Ordinarily I’m put off by classical music, primarily because I don’t listen enough to it, to understand it. Although when I do hear it, my experience with vocal-less composures of modern dance music, have trained my ear to hear the nuances of each cord, expressions in each beat, and melodies of the pieces so as to understand the difference between typical composures and great ones. I tend to close my eyes to hear better at times, and of course my girlfriend took this as napping but none the less, I did enjoy the performance and it was well worth my time.

I had intended to take pictures, however, after taking just this first one, I was reprimanded by museum staff that photography was prohibited. Notice the no camera sign in the picture below.

The serpent that in paradise
Upon all Adam’s children
The bane of souls did cause to fall
Brings us no danger more;
The woman’s seed is manifest,
The Savior is in flesh appearéd
And hath from it removed all venom.
Take comfort then, O troubled sinner!

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Dear Santa

Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I’v ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Friend, Billy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I’m giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn’t they?
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I don’t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I’d like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad’s banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he’s gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It’s time to
give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid “Francis” nowadays. I bet you’re gay. I’ll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table…. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we’re sleeping, do you really know when we’re awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I’m skipping your house.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn’t work with me. You’re getting a sweater again.
Santa

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Dearest Santa,
We don’t have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself “Marky”, that’s why you’re getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don’t live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa