Category: Society

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The Reds of SF

So just about a month ago *so long before updates* I spent a week in the city with by beloved coworkers for a sales conference. No quotes this time because it actually lived up to its name. I’d love to babel on and on about what I learned, the gossip I heard, and what ever… but this forum is not for work. What we did do was to live it up every night in the City. Staying in the financial district we were walking distance to the seedy side of SF. woo hoo! What a conference.

The crew ended up sticking to a couple of bars, the first called the Red Room, a loungie kinda retro bar (827 Sutter St. near Union Square). This is definitely the type of place suits go to get away from other suits: .50 cent pool and we loaded the place for 5 days straight; they had a company intro written on the wall the last two days we swilled it up. I was witness to several acts of debauchery by my co-workers…I’m not into blackmail *or have a need for it yet!* but it’s always fun to see what your co-workers get into “off-the-clock”.

The top spot for the week was the Redwood Room at the Cliff hotel, owned by Ian Schrager. I’ve heard of this place as much as I’ve heard of the new Matrix bar and XYZ in the W Hotel, SF. Stylish, rich, stuffy and definitely a place to “see and be ‘scene'”. I guess I didn’t notice all that going on. Too busy watching that dent in my wallet get larger, every time I ordered a $9 beer or a $15 jack and coke. At least I drank first at the Red Room and only left $45 short. … Only… Still, I would say the only “fun” I had here was just bull shittin with the out-o-towners.

A few things I noticed about the joint and my time up in the city. Great place to just kick it and not drink, but rather peep watch or sit back and play back gammon with randoms as I picked up a few games. You might run into some celebs here, as I bumped into Slick Willie Brown on the way in.

I noticed the power of a title here as I saw my CEO sell to another like titled silicon exec over a Brandy. That’s all there is to it eh? Light weights should not drink and try to grab cabs, saunas are not good place to drink when you’ve already dehydrated yourself on Captain and cokes, and my my my…do I need to salsa…there really are beautiful women in the Bay Area, they are just all living in SF and only come out during the day. I also need to move soon…

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People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
— Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

I drink to make other people interesting.
— George Jean Nathan

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My Aggravation with the “System”

Ahhh!!! Frustration barely scratches the ass on this one. Today was one of those take-off-of-work-to-do-work days. You really don’t get a day off when you “have-to” run errands but it must be done. And so I decided I would take my truck in to get that new tranny built on, comply with the legal system, get that “abandoned” car off the streets and even wash the blue bomber. As the prepared one, I already researched the shops, had the day planned out to the hour with trips to visit rental homes and even a *deep”* clean for my chompers at the dentist (I’ve seen this guy more in two months than I saw my other one in two years – sick or sucker? You make the call.) Anyway, I call up AAA, for some convenient roadside assistance and they send out the Tow truck. Grandpa trucker, rolls up rather quickly, asks me for my card and quickly lets me know that it’s expired. No shit. I lost the new one but obviously if I didn’t have an active account, they wouldn’t send him out. Then he tells me that he can’t tow the truck since it is not registered and HE can get a ticket if he does tow it on the street. Hmmm… So I ask him if he has ever been asked to tow unregistered vehicles by the Po-Pos. *Yes* and then how is this different? *No answer* I argue with the old man and he tells me I need a “movers-permit” to move the truck on the streets and I have to go to the DMV for this. I think we all know how much we like this place.

This could be a long post if I went through all the details, but driving to the DMV *the second time-I forgot they don’t take credit!* I call them to see if getting an appointment for 10 minutes from now will expedite the wait time. I find that it takes longer to make an appointment on the phone with these people than it does to drive your stanky ass down there and wait in line with the rest of the general public – I know, I was still on the phone, trying to make the appointment while I was waiting in the Non-Appointment line BS… Then I come up against Maria. I decided I would pay the registration, rather than just a mover permit and registration. I give Maria the details and ask for the papers. She tells me – No Smog Cert. No registration. OK but I have to be able to move the truck to a shop to get it smogged, right? *Right! so she says I should get a Movers Permit.* Great so how ’bout that? *Well you have to get your registration paid to get that*. But if I don’t have a smog check, to get my registration to get my mover’s permit… what do I do? I was actually a bit more angry, forward and irritable than this but I went around in circle reasoning hell with this DMV Dominion for about 15 minutes before she realize she could give me a provisionary registration w/o the Smog check – so I could get the damn vehicle checked!!!! I just need to put her out of commission of chop off a few fingers so she can’t work a desk job anymore – go work at BB King!!

I get the registration, call the AAA again and after an hour this time, the brotha that showed up, had no problems with towing the truck, droppin’ it off and he didn’t even take my card! What a prick! Well, I’m droppin’ the dime to get this fix, and give up the other Nissan to the rents. I’m also looking at a new ride and most of my choices are still out of my range: Fine Engineering.

I really would like to rant and rant about the way our system is so restricted by rules (got have this license, registration/insurance to drive *anything*) and much of our legal stature is a joke. I’m gonna pass right now and come back to this topic soon. I have a feeling that this won’t be the last time I have a gripe about the system.

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?
– Marion Barry

And you know Bert is Evil!

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Wouldn’t We All Like to be Money Rounders Pulling Fredos?

So two things seem to come up more offer than most in my post work discussions. Money and Women. They both are evil, can corrupt even the strongest of men and in the world of today, the more of them you have, they really just bring more problems than solutions. Well the last one holds more true for women more than money…But alas I cannot take my damn hands off either of em. So I’ve come up with a few simple rules of wisdom, with the help of the Swingers, that can help you get both in life without too many headaches:

#1 There are No Rules in This Game. Believe it or not being genuine is much more refreshing and will get you a lot farther than bullshit.
#2 Team Play. Didn’t kindergarten teach you anything? Work together, and have fun. You’ll get more accomplished with better results. “Where’s my wingman?”
#3 Less is More. It’s not about what you say. It’s how you listen.
#4 Women Aren’t Dumb. The B side is: Money is not easy. Manipulation should be subtle and insults get you NO WHERE.
#5 Be Honest… with yourself and with your dealings. Get straight to the point. If you want the sale ask for it. Don’t be interested in the brand name when you both know you want to see the pants on the floor in your bedroom.
#6 If You Must Lie. Keep it simple and as close to the truth as possible. Lying is bad business but in some personal settings it’s needed to smoothes things over.
#7 Setting the tone. Be confident and comfortable with who and what you have. It’s attractive and presents superiority that most lack. Never apologize for anything. Focus on the benefits not the negatives.
#8 Timing is Everything. If you are pushy or early you look desperate. Be patient and casual. There’s nothing like a good entrance.
#9 Deer in the Headlights. Everyone wants a mystery. Keep it a challenge and drive the needs rather than the wants.
#10 The Law of the Jungle. The strongest will survive. The competition is fierce so always give yourself the edge. A sense of self-respect makes all the difference in the world.
#11 Never bring up old shit. Never bring up ex-boyfriends, partners, encounters or old (sour) news. It will never benefit you and you don’t need to know.
#12 Be a Bad Man. My boys and I call this Owning. Don’t hide the fact that you like sex. We aren’t 14 man. Own your sexuality and don’t apologize for it. On the money side: You want it right. Go after it!
#13 The Waiting Game. The deal goes sour without foreplay. The babies love that shit. No reason to pop off in the first round when you know it’s scheduled for 10. Again don’t be desperate and take your time boy!
#14 Grace Under Pressure. The golden rule is keep it simple. Don’t try to over explain who you are or how you’re feeling (what you are selling). In leaving a message, remind them of something shared, don’t expect them to remember you by voice and name alone.
#15 Skip the Birdseed. Sometimes it just happens. Close the deal then and there. Don’t try to over sell your position when it’s all working now.
#16 Trust Yourself. Play your game not someone else’s. Stick with what feels right. Even if you fail, you’ve learned something and use it to better yourself the next pull.

And because I’m focusing on Money and Women, well what better way to have both than with a trip to Las Vegas. Yup. I’ve booked the flight to the city of sin and next comes the love, but don’t expect me to drop money at the Chicken ranch. The next episode I’ll come with some related links…