What’s Wrong with Austin

I laugh and smile too much.
I don?t have a wooden leg.
I?m sarcastic.
I like David Letterman.
I watch reality TV shows about stealing cars, rebuilding things and bikes..
I am afraid of heights but I love jumping out of planes (go figure).
I?m allergic to nothing.
I am a Sagatarius.
I am aggressive. I am shy.
I am confident. I am insecure.
I’m a smartass.
I don?t have any addictions.
I am amicable. I am belligerent.
I like to shop (go ahead and call it metro…I just like having new shit!).
I take too long to get ready (so they say).
I am orderly. I am chaotic.
I am in an 8 year relationship with “my” music but still can’t seem to make anything I like.
I am in love.
I deal with life through humor and looking ahead.
I cannot share chesecake. I share porn.
I can take a joke ? I will also dish it out.
I don?t like olives. I like brussel sprouts.
I can play the drums.
I make myself laugh.
I am entertained by stupid people ? they are subject to ridicule.
I am a good friend.
I am human.