Mystery of Missing and Predicting Time

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Feb 012010

I can’t believe it’s February already. The Time has escaped me and I look back at a month of limited progress. I question my dedication a little as this week, however, I’ve had several interviews yet none were inspiring. One I’m continuing the process and will see if I need to sell myself along with the managers on gaining a position. I hate to do it, but it’s necessary at this point.

While catching The Simpsons, I was asked “What are 5 words where “Y” is a vowel?” Do you know – answers after the pic:


Like I said above, my attitude is a little paralytic today. I’m vowing to make February an atypical month of my previous behavior, starting with a trip to the gym tomorrow. The wife’s cynical of my dedication, however, I have a renewed faith, despite the pending snow this week: Spring is coming pending a the sight of either Punksatony Phil or Staten Island Chuck.

Check out this syncopated beat (and that’s 5 “Y” words) from The Clash – The Equalizer:

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Moving up or moving down?

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Apr 062009

“I was happy stripping at Skanks”, said exotic dancer, Trixie McRove, “but when the tips, and customers, started shrinking, I had to look for something else to pay the rent. That’s when I heard about Fox News holding a job fair down at Munchies”.

I’m all for people looking for new opportunities to make a buck and in an economic downturn, most will have to. But this story from Steve Young, shows a few things. Strippers looking to move into other career paths, and a media company hiring strippers not for their “talents” to improve their ratings.

“We figure that a lot of our demographic – 67 and over white males – frequent these gentleman relief centers”, said one FOX human resources VP. “There’s an untapped talent pool at these clubs and we plan to tap it for all it’s worth. And then we might even hire them”.

Just goes to show you where the qualifications for FOX lay with impressing the viewers eyes and not with enticing them by education, intelligence or journalistic ability. The channel is of course for entertainment and not a pillar of journalistic integrity.

Yeasty, a Bakersfield stripper. “Being an expert on Fox News isn’t much different from being a lap dancer. Five minutes of making them believe you care about them and you’re done.” Yes, so true Yeasty, so true.

Back in Business

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Jan 052009

Today was a tough one. I had been in California for the last two weeks and although I was working through the holiday, it didn’t feel like a full day of slaving since the eve of Christmas. The alarm went off on time but I didn’t roll out until the coffee brewed and I knew “In the Papers” was on the 1.

I hadn’t booked any meetings today but knew I had to prep for 09 forecast planning. Unfortunately I’m not even sure of what areas of the country I’ll be focusing on or which products. It’s all up in the air so I’m just keeping my head down and working the few projects that slipped last quarter. There still a lot of unknown out there and businesses are skeptical of the new year, reviewing every investment, project and every penny earned. Until I hear my new orders, I’m stewing in the troughs.

I talked yesterday about commitments, and here’s another one. I’m thinking about where I’m going to be at the end of Oh-Nine and I need to “put in work and watch my status escalate” (Put it down Gang Starr!).

Bob Marley & the Wailers – Work

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Gang Starr – Work [yousendit]

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Dropkick Murphy’s – Worker’s Song [yousendit]

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Ramones – “It’s Not My Place (In the 9 to 5 World)”

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Mid-town pretension

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Mar 212008

I don’t spend much time up town. Actually anything above 14th st or Union Sq for non-business reasons doesn’t get much time in for me unless it’s central park, a show, gallery or museum of my calling, or to see the woman. Tonight was one of those nights I was up for business to take some clients out; we met at the hotel bar that takes great care of us: Abboccato. George manages a great restaurant if you’re up for some unique and tasty Italian and Lana a non-drinker, knows her way around Italian wines and grappas.

On recommendation we took our guys up to. BLT Market on Central Park South, next to the Ritz. Already knowing the Ritz’s Star Lounge that connects the hotel and the restaurant, provides the cocktail service, I knew there’d be some pretense (and cost) for the evening heading here. As we walked in, I expected a wait, and greeted well by the hostess staff, they proclaiming we’d be eating in 20 min. Norman was the bartender this night and set us up nicely with some scotch whiskey.

20 minutes pass and then 30 then 40. Despite my own tardiness at times, I feel disrespected as a customer when restaurants don’t seat you at appropriate times. If the wait is 40 say Four-T, not 20 to appease the customer and apologize later.

Apparently it all got worse from there. Laurent Tourondel is New York’s famed French-born chef that is highly praised through out the city, however, this evening, the chefs and service were not executed to precision and made for one of my worst dining experiences in some time. The best part may have been the hot dog appetizers which were served free with the meal. I had a well cooked braised lamb but cod and duck were not cooked well. The service intermittent and being sat closest to the front door was the top irritant of the night.

I may be back but only on the recommendation and someone else’s dime. We spent the rest of the evening back at the hotel participating in grappa tastings and creating today’s hangover…

Pay Day

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Dec 132007

I was paying up at Gourmet Garage today for the evening’s dinner when I noticed a tall lanky white guy with thick rimed black glasses and a hair and ‘stache combo straight out of 1974, cruising the isles with a handful of envelopes. It was payday for the employees and he was distributing the best part of the month.

I watched as he towered over a crouched stock kid handing over the vanilla envelope with that satisfaction-well done smile. He didn’t even get up, slipped a finger in and pulled out the money with a smile… then a sign and a forced “Thanks!”….

It’s never enough is it. It never seems worth it right? and on top of that you have half your check going to the Gov. I remember the days when I’d be right there, working at Gene’s but come to think about it, I still get that sign when I pop open my bank account. I’m just not paid what I’m worth, however, I don’t have that mustached boss hanging over me to nudge nudge that great bagging job I do every week for Mrs. Johnson.

Home office loner

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Dec 182006

When you work from home, you don’t have the comradely of an office, office pals, jokes around the vending machine, coffee breaks or any personal interactions… it makes for a lonely career existence. Sure as a field sales guys your always meeting new and existing customers, partners, and career execs but these are business relationships that rarely last beyond the sales cycle without some report and personal attention. So when you have a few friends to enjoy a sixer or two and a roof top, conversation of a personal nature is treasured and belligerent sessions of intoxication and New York life are much to be desired…

This is a short rant, I’m sure I’ll elaborate on this biz. Right now the positive is, “Enjoy your cube farms suckas!!!”

I’m Rich… and Drunk!

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Sep 112006

The Journal of Labor Research claims to have a proof study that shows all us alcoholics are better off than anyone else…. That’s right drinkers are better off than non-drinkers.

“Social drinking builds social capital,” said Edward Stringham, an economics professor at San Jose State University and co-author of the study with fellow researcher Bethany Peters.

“Social drinkers are out networking, building relationships, and adding contacts to their BlackBerries that result in bigger paychecks.”

The problem with this study is that this hypothesis is as they admit based on “casual observation and examination of scholarly accounts”. Which means just by watching drunks at a bar and observing their paychecks they’ve made the claim that drinkers are richer than those poor bastards that don’t go out and can’t afford the $10 cocktail and hence don’t socialize in those liquor fuels settings… hmmm… quite observant guys!

Funny how this article does not point out that socializing in bars under the influence is a direct result of the chemical reactions to alcohol – its called intoxication.

Mindless fun if you want to read the whole story:
Alcohol use helps boost income: study

The Evolution of the AV career

 Personal  Comments Off on The Evolution of the AV career
Mar 282006

What a month… it’s been awhile and I just had a life changing event again so I’m back to reflection of it. Its the end of March and about this time last year I started to look seriously for a replacement position from the one I left in Santa Monica. In May of last year I accepted a sales position at a very large German corporate organization. I understood the perception of corporate stereotypes and half knew this coming into the position expecting some of them, however, I knew I’d pick up some new skills from ze Germans. I’ll be the first to say, my own hype didn’t live up to the reality.

I was very excited at first – big company – big name – lots or responsibility – big title, but…. smaller than expected package, and no flexibility. However, I was expecting to fair better than I would have staying in CA so I kept with it. I was introduced to managers and executives that had been at this company for over 20 years. This tenure is completely new to a kid from silicon valley where after 6 years typical employees already have 4 positions and 2 careers under their resume header and you may even be the “senior” employee in your group/division/branch of the company after several years. I had mixed hopes for mobility at this company just with the prospects of meeting a few of the other guys on the team. All are capable and talented in their own way, however, I already can’t see myself here for that long of a term.

I have to say the regional director and his counter part are some very smart individuals; very well capable of leading an enterprise team and I’d work for them selectively again, however, the flaw came in hiring a middle manager for myself and 2 others. Initially he impressed me with his ability to quickly digest a situation and regurgitate it back out to whom every he was speaking to in the most simplistic form. However, his failing came in dealing with people (especially clients) and this is huge for a sales person. I can’t see where this guy gets the skills to run an enterprise team. After 5 months, the manager still doesn’t get the simpilist aspects of wireless or the difference between IDS and IPS. But more so, the rub is he’s not of use for me to help navigate the processes of the company, can’t be a go to guy to fight for terms, and has been reduced to a roadblock to get things done rather than a motivator within the group. The only time I would interface with him, was the mandatory daily check-ins in the morning, the daily call reports, the activity reporting, some hr crap and the like. I serious believe his need for micromanagement had me spending more time generating activity reports than developing revenue generating conversations with customers… what a loss of motivation, not to mention waste of my own time to get a pay check.

So I’m ecstatic to say I am finished now with the German company, and they are finished with me. I couldn’t be happier; in fact both my friends and family have noticed significant changes in my attitude (positively) and personal interactions with people… um also positive. When I got the opportunity to leave the company I had already prepared myself to find my new gig… and within weeks I signed the contract for what I think will be totally self motivating (and money making) position here in New York. More to come when everything is settled…

Looking for an engineer that does sales?

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Mar 072006

Personal references have been light and far between lately on here but I thought its time I should give more of myself… I mean this is a personal journal that only I ever read right? So basically my job sucks. I came out to New York on expectations of another position and was rather fortunate to land a sweet job (so I thought) at a very large enterprise sales organization. I’m thinking structured training, large resources, marketing backing and all I have to do is develop the deals… Not so… quite the opposite and on top of that there was the micro-management. I would have to say my Regional Director is one of the sharpest sales managers I’ve ever worked for (he hired me didn’t he) but the team support left much to be desired.

So I’ve been reviewing other options and one I picked up on was Google. I’ve already had a few conversations with people that work there and the HR/internal recruiter there. This is no walk in the park to get a job here and those that get there, don’t leave unless they are pushed out. Google has a new enterprise search product and to me, it looks to be a rather easy technology to understand and sell – the only problem is I’d have to go through about 10 interviews to get to the hiring stages…

To make matters difficult, every interviewer is looking for an engineer that does sales. It’s obvious to me that the majority of the people in this area of the company are technical geeks and most have never heard of solution selling techniques. It’s quite unfortunate because I don’t think I’ll get the opportunity to work for in this environment:

Free Food!

Lazy nerds

More insider photos of the Google Empire

Boneheaded Business Jargon

 Society  Comments Off on Boneheaded Business Jargon
Nov 102005

Can anyone in business say what they mean these days? I swear there are those company men that utilize cliches to make themselves sound smart, but they really aren’t saying anything. If you’d cut their emails/speeches or talks down to the real point, they would only have a few precise comments. Yet this doesn’t happen and they go on and on…

The reason this post comes up, is I have a new boss and with that a new way to manage him. His main role is to be an intermediary to the regional manager. This to me seems like typical big corporate filler. We received a team email from him today, and here’s what it read (sanitized for company confidential info):

From: Chief
Sent: Monday, November 07, 2005 8:19 AM
To: Peons

I hope everyone enjoyed the **[Sales Meeting]** trip and was able to gain some valuable insight as to the path forward for our company in 2006. November is a very big month for our Team as I continue to look for ways to add more experienced sales people to our group. Sales need to pick-up and EVERYONE MUST CONTRIBUTE with some key deals. I have been tasked with making sure that some of the larger deals close specifically *** and *** and want to make sure that I get some important face time with these accounts shortly. We need to succeed and I feel with the people we have in place that will happen. I realize today might be a difficult day as you dig out from being out of pocket but we need to keep our eye on the prize.

Um yeah…. I feel motivated and moved. Ready to conquer the world.. go go go!!!

Here’s a list I compiled from a few emails and just by thinking back to some meetings. Also some people find it a more productive use of their time to print out Bingo sheets and fill squares with these catch phrases. Take them to your meeting and I dare you to jump up and yell “BINGO!” when you’ve completed line across the board. Feel free to add more:

Cliches and catch phrases
think outside the box
I, for one…
Not to be rude, but…
To be honest with you
On the other hand
Needless to say…
Touch base
Bottom Line
I could care less
It’s the least you could do
I have a question I need to ask you
Big players make big plays
Ballpark figures
Floating deadline
Been there, done that.
Shock and awe
What’s the path forward?
Kick him to the curb, girlfriend!
From a to z
Head them off at the pass
Putting out fires
At the end of the day
Leveraging your synergies
To be honest with you
I hear what you’re saying
It’s not rocket science
Bare with me
Between a rock and a hard place
Blue-sky thinking
Circle the wagons
Circle back
Ride the fence
Let’s regroup
Have a topline discussion
Per our email
Regarding this concept
Low-hanging fruit
I could give a rat’s ass!
The lead dog has the best view
Open a dialog
Push the envelope
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Not the brightest crayon in the box
The fact of the matter is..
As far as I know
One off
Heads up
Run this up the flag pole
They have to execute down the stretch
At this moment in time
Not singing from the same hymn sheet
Address the issue
On a weekly basis
Crack troops
Glass half full (or half empty)
In terms of
Move the goal-posts
The fact of the matter is
Make that an action item
Review the meeting notes
Out of pocket
Wrap our arms around
Spearhead that initiative
Action plans
From this point forward
Eye on the prize
Nose to the grind stone
Stay on target

Business Buzz Words I hate too
Decks – when referring to ppt slides