4:34 AM

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Jun 022003

For some one up at this time, on a Monday morning, there are three reasons. Necessity is ruled out for me and I’m definitely not having a good time from the evening before. Insomnia is rarely a problem for me and as of late has been a consistent one. The mind has a sub-conscious will of it’s own; how ironically similar to most females.

This morning she decided to spin overdrive cycles on me; especially unwanted as I know I’m going into an overtime week. It’s been three years and three months since the thoughts of loss have interrupted my routine. The discomfort of not being in control, coupled with the lack of reasoning for the circumstances surrounding this relationship funnel is contributing to my deprivation of character. I wish understanding would plug it…I know it can. My duality of passionate desire and rejection is not a roller coaster kind of sickness; I don’t want to get off the ride. This one though is not originating from the stomach but one that swells from the more vital organs and spreads to affect the lesser. I’ve been awoken before, but have been unwilling to do anything about it…until now. I see myself trying to keep my feet in, without having to look back for permission, however, right now I’m alone again and she uncertain about coming with me is still lost in billions of thoughts. We round the corner for the next hill…please focus.

There’s a connection to this path I’m riding but in the back of my mind, I know i’ll be coming back around here again. I’m more patient this time, stronger, but I need some sleep. Become settled and coasting again; we both can rest easier tonight, and …. Yeah I like that idea much better than the alternative. I’m not loosing my mind this time.

Back on the Blogg… weekend madness

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Feb 112003

I just can’t wait for a new site to appear so I might as well keep adding to the blog… I keep making excuses for the time I don’t have and they all lead to one thing… (to be discussed some other time)….

For now, I’ll just relive a few things… Spin sessions with more DJs than less are much more spontaneous and fun (who likes playing with themselves anyway…well playing rekkids with themselves)… So 12 and Pop and I got together and fried some amps in a good multi-media session on Friday… Great practice for future gigs..

Saturday we hit the city…I find that if you’re new to the city the best thing to do is get them drunk and hooked up with the locals… So we hit up Tina’s birthday at Butta (watch out for the man with a big cock pic…not for the light hearted) where we had a private party till about 11… don’t know what so private about a paper sign on the door with no list but who cares, I was inviting coo peeps off the street to come join anyway. I would have to say the high light of this place is the juxtaposition of dance/house music being played at a bar with no dance floor AND the theme of this place is 80’s white trash meets acid tripping hippy with a touch of Jesse Duke thrown in. Ya’ll have a good time now and don’t shoot tha pigs!! yyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa……

I would have to say the food rocks! Nothing beats the fine dinning of Butter… Creamy mac n cheese served in a paper bowl with a spork, tater tots and for desert SMORs! Now you have to be thinking (as I was) … this can’t be good at a bar… how do you melt the marshmallows? Ohhh Bartender! pour a little 151 in an ash tray..lighter up and fry up those puffs of sugar over a table top flame… mmm good… wash down with a jack n coke or tall can of bud and you can power through any bad night… don’t for get to wipe the sticky goo off your fingers n lips before you start pimpin again.

So several tall cans n Jacks later I ended up meeting to local pinay women that just couldn’t get enough of my boy Godzilla… And wouldn’t you know it… he’s pressed up against the garage door outside the club… I knew it was lust when she showed up with the overnight bag that night… it may be your first Asian woman my friend but it won’t be your last… just enjoy what you can …. ;)

So the evening didn’t come to an end without a ghetto bus ride back… some dude hijacked an airport bus and was giving rides around the city for extra change. So why not… the dude had his girlfriend/wife/hooker whatever with him to sing us all the local hits “Can I get a hot boy!…uhh huh!” and “I wanna bump bump bump” priceless again… I wish I had the digi to show all… next time… just make sure when you take the van painted in patriotically Mexican colors, don’t sit in the puke in the front seat…. the news paper cover doesn’t work too well… yum…

Roadtrip to SLO

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Jun 032002

Let’s do an update on A-ber shall we? Sure. Well just about two weeks ago I set up with my boys Nick and Navin to roll to hometown college town of San Luis Obispo… First stop was DTzie! The Stones for a Tri-Tip and a Firestone brew. If you haven’t had a good tri-tip then head to the central coast. The fries, tip, self serve drinks, big screen TVs, the basty and all the charm of dumb college Sophomores. What more do you need?

Met up with some friends still hitting the 7 yr plan and proceeded to binge drink my former college self into a good time downtown that evening. Hitting most of the typical “hot” spots or whatever you can call them in SLO… Frog’s (Frog & Peach ~ a wanna be Irish pub) for a Guinness and to check out the local reggea band…on to Mission grill, formerly Mango’s but a good place to meet the spoiled meets Kid Rock types (yeah I met a chick who’s boyfriend calls himself Kid Rock). Didn’t dare venture into either Bulls or Fratasons (Madison?s ~ although I hear since the remodel it hasn’t kept it’s typical frat atmosphere). However, no trip to SLO with out the local spot at McCarthy’s. If anyone is happiest here it’s Jerry, cuz he stands at the door all day gawking at all the SLO ass…and at his age it’s all good – Don’t be fooled by the reality of it though.

I actually convinced my friends to head over to the old Z club, I mean Ra, well now it’s The Realm. Still owning after a few years… Still coming out of there sick from all the free drinks… I’ve got to abstain next time… Just something about that place makes you want to drink… it couldn’t be the women though…???

Ended up crashing at the no infamous Rock where I got worked at foose. Shit an I used to have a table too.

After some meandering around we headed south to SB. Ahh the land of sun….and….a college…and…what does SB have to offer. I’m not completely sure. I do know that it’s a kick ass party town, well that’s for those in Isla Vista, pizza and beer is a staple, lots of shopping on State St. and of course the beach. We chilled with a friend in the ghetto… She conveniently pointed out all the spots were people were jumped, stabbed, found passed out drunk or just areas not to go. Nice. I love IV.

After shopping, and a few drinks at 634 during the day we met a nice man that let me know I was responsible (my people) for keeping him down. I’ll remember that when my job takes out more money for his Social security and he makes a more money than me (tax free) pestering shoppers on the street. We had a camera but who knows if I’ll ever get copies of the prints and scan em….

That evening we hit two spots. Club 634 again and an old gem turned new hot spot: WildCats (15 W Ortega St.) 634 had the top 40/house/hip hop music/crowd going on. I found myself on stage a few times showing the peeps how to dance and I found I got along rather well with the locals. Spotted a Bart Simpson look-a-like. We cruzed down the street to Wildcats where earlier I had heard some underground beats and sure enough…underground. While in line I met the owner and he instructed us to go around the back. I guess they had reached capacity in the front but were able to let peeps back in on the DL. The place used to be called Club Arson until someone took it literally and burned it down. Now remodled in some gothic meets retro attire… the place is phat. Drinks good. Friendly ladies and good djs (finally). Read Mangazam’s School for the Santa Barbara DJ to get a picture of the crap I had to endure going by most of the other clubs: DJ School

On the way back up the coast we stopped by San Simeon to check out Hearst’s ridiculous representation of wealth…the Castle We lagged on making reservations and ended up on the last tour of the Garden To top it off it was raining and our tour lady sucked. “Ok over here is that big pool with some Greek statues… I think that one is supposed to be Neptune….and over here are some flowers n stuff…”

Over all a good time out from the bay…

Finally I’ll Leave you with this fitting mantra HERE Gotta have sound though…

Finally and corporate hero!

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May 062002

Won the sales contest at work and now ordered my second digital camera… After much thought and searching I decided I like the Cannon PowerShot:

Canon PowerShot S30Should be on my way to visually bring up the site with personal pics. Also working on a whole site redesign and getting the Archive back and running too… Need the time but I won’t have it unitl I make the transition to New York through this month. It’s on order more to come in a few weeks…..

“Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.”
— Marlene Dietrich

High School year book Quotes ~ Know how you have to have eveyone sign your book when you leave school and then you never look at the damn thing until after the fact… I just picked it up and found a few jewels in my Senior year book:

“Hey Austin ~ you fineth lookinth Mon tha Fkur. I’m not gonna miss your ass this year couse we are going to be hookin it this summer and doin sum bustas. Remeber, always use a hat! Especially a USC Hat! Peace R-“G””


“Austin, What’s up? Well we finally made it. “YES!” I hope you have hella fun in follage (c not f). N E Way, may all your up’s and downs be in bed. #20 (MFDUR) PS. Thanks for never giving me any food!”

Random Links

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Apr 292002

Does anyone ever sit down at the computer and just “surf the web” anymore? You know, blindly click links to nowhere, letting that back button log fill up as you jump the proverbial branch to branch with your monkey-surf habits. I did today and check the results:

Sports by Brooks (Do female broadcasters titillate audiences?) – Read some random blurb on sexism of female sports casters in the reporting industry, then checked out this guy’s own glorification of the female body.

Jefferson – Secession from the continental US? It be war against the yuppies and the Back country folk… Who knew those Norl Cal hippies wanted to be 49? They even have a proclamation. Watch out Heintz.

Still not safe? – Top CIA official warns next terror attack unavoidable.


If you are not up on this… this was my old mate back in the no fun zone. Of all the engineers I had to get the Brown. Made all the difference, I’d probably be a geek engineer if it wasn’t for him… Bub if you readin this I still need some video tape…documentation… gotta put that on the web too…

Gamble up some money on the strip and then blow it all in the Champagne room or if you sober up, get on down to a club (mmmmmmmmmmm).

Was thinking, I need a tat soon… still working on the design but what do ya think these guy’s art:

The Reds of SF

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Feb 182002

So just about a month ago *so long before updates* I spent a week in the city with by beloved coworkers for a sales conference. No quotes this time because it actually lived up to its name. I’d love to babel on and on about what I learned, the gossip I heard, and what ever… but this forum is not for work. What we did do was to live it up every night in the Ci-tay. Staying in the financial district we were walking distance to strip clubs, bars, and hookers. woo hoo! What a conference.

The crew ended up sticking to a couple of bars, the first called the Red Room, a loungie kinda retro bar (827 Sutter St.
near Union Square). This is definitely the type of place suits go to get away from other suits. 50cent pool and we loaded the place for 5 days straight; they had a company intro written on the wall the last two days we swilled it up. I was witness to several acts of debauchery by my co-workers…too bad I’m not into blackmail *or have a need for it yet!*.

The top spot for the week was the Redwood Room at the Cliff hotel, owned by Ian Schrager. I’ve heard of this place as much as I’ve heard of the new Matrix bar and XYZ in the W Hotel, SF. Stylish, rich, stuffy and definitely a place to “see and be scene”. I guess I didn’t notice all that going on. Too busy watching that dent in my wallet get larger, every time I ordered a $9 beer or a $15 jack and coke. At least I drank first at the Red Room and only left $45 short. … Only… Still, I would say the only “fun” I had here was just bull shittin with the out-o-towners.

A few things I noticed about the joint and my time up in the city. Great place to just kick it and not drink, but rather peep watch or sit back and play back gammon with randoms as I picked up a few games. You might run into some celebs here, as I bumped into Slick Willie Brown on the way in. Don’t do drugs here… you’ll end up staring at the “moving” portraits all night. I noticed the power of a title here as I saw my CEO sell to another like titled silicon exec over a Brandy. That’s all there is to it eh? Light weights should not drink and try to grab cabs, saunas are not good place to drink when you’ve already dehydrated yourself on Captain and cokes, and my my my…do I need to salsa…there really are beautiful women in the Bay Area, they are just all living in SF and only come out during the day. I also need to move soon…

* * * * *

People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan

NYE…did the lights go out?

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Jan 082002

I‘m still waiting for that day when the mysterious Y2K bug will resurface and wipe out the whole computer world with the tick of a number. 4…3…2…1…black out! I sure hope all those survival packs sold two years ago were accepted well as the next years X-mas gifts. Me… Christmas is for praying to that big red god of gifts in the sky. What a great day for all the lill chillin’s, and what a horrible month for the obese. Eating rates around the holidays sky rocket, it’s a wonder we will ever be a thin nation. I say stop outlawing cigarettes. Yeah it’s a nasty habit, you smell, your teeth are yellow, but, at least you can eat pizza and not tack on the extra pounds. I’m babbling because I’ve taken on another 12 hour day at work. Why do I do this? My answers are starting to fuzz….

NYE was well to quote the late Chris Farley “That was Awesome!”. Yeah I had a great time with the CT crew. Represent at the Funky Tekno Tribe party Organic. My only problem was this (from their site): “*What’s going to happen at midnight? Think Ibiza, Spain meets Las Vegas at a TRILLION volts! You won’t be disappointed.” If this was the expectation then I only saw a couple of watts in San Sebation, Spain. Sorry guys but the hype wasn’t there. And I felt for King Britt who spent most of his set spinning in a room with four people. Mark Farina and D Glaude stole the lulled crowd.

So this year doesn’t have too many new beginnings, as much as it does a full over haul for me. I’m just improving on my opinions, persons, ideas and standard of living. If you made resolutions, fagetaboutit…you won’t keep em’. I think we all know the typical ones: loose weight, exercise mo, be nice to people and hook up with that special what ever… Resolutions are probably broken just about as much as wedding vows in this country. Rather resolutions I have goals and projects, which are not for the year but to be completed before I’m 29…just thought that was a nice round numba:

  • Travel. Where? Anywhere but here… Well how about South America and Asia to start. Then>>?
  • Skydive. I can’t believe I haven’t done this.
  • Go to a shooting range…on Valentines day.
  • Learn Portuguese or Italian. Both are great languages, but this probably won’t stick unless I move to the respective countries… see top goal.
  • Make a decent track, play it out and at least have some one dance or have sex to it. That’s all an artist could ask for.
  • Go to Austin, TX so I can actually answer that age old question “Oh have you been there “Danger”?
  • Have my age legally changed to 21 for the rest of my life. “Hello sweetheart…what classes are you taking this semester?”
  • Grow a mustache
  • Get that tattoo on my balls lasered off…no. not the “lick here” one.
  • Get that other tattoo put on my back.
  • Have sex again.
  • Play drums again

Well actually I could go on and on but these are fairly good ones. If you want to read about some other sorry resolutions, check out 3 Fat Chicks resolutions.

“Life, alas, is very dear. Up with the glass, down with the beer.”
~Louis Untermeyer~

“We are all of us in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars.”
~Oscar Wilde~

Corporate world has taken over…

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Dec 192001

It’s not like you all don’t know this happens already but, it always thought that this would never take over my life *never!* until now. *where did all those flowers go?* My “justification” for work is that I love what I am doing, it’s challenging enough to keep my interest and it feeds my pocket book…for about a week until I have to pay up on the student loans. But I have been going to some fun shit despite the fact that someone else gets a bigger cut of my work efforts.

If you haven’t seen Linkin Park in concert you should definitely go check them out. I went last month on the Family Val-Used tour on the 13th of November *yes over a month ago*. Unfortunately they played third on the line up: right after Static X and before Stained and STP. Stained and STP were well good…but that?s about it. I wasn’t impressed. I love STP’s older shit like Core but the concert was way too mellow. The Not So Silent Night show by Live 105 was way better, and this was just from listening on the radio, well I did get to roll in for a quick tour during System of the Down, which btw was fuckin awesome. A little on the mushroom punk side but they had a great energy that tore through your face and down to your skull – plus the pit was damn fun. If you don’t have a CD of there’s this is one band I would recommend. Dope site simple site too.

Most of my last days of November were figuring out where I was going to shuffle my crap to… I needed a new residence and that former crack house was not cutting it. Besides, I hate stepping on needles in the morning. Unless they are filled, that just ruins your day…

But alas the great holiday of Thanksgiving has come and before it passed that quickly I’d like to drop a few word on it. I see quite a demise is the actual ritual for Americans to give Thanks. I think this year, more than the last, would be a time were we use the holiday time to get together with the family, relatives and friends that meaning in our lives and we celebrate the gift of great life. I think the point of Thanksgiving is loosing significance because of the current American trend for greed and our lackadaisical lifestyle. All those Burger Kings and McDowells don’t help either. I wonder how many people out there actually are Thankful for what they have and realize what an amazing gift some of us have just by living in the US. It definitely could be worse.

*Thank You Tim B. for this opportunity*

So next came moving day which coincided on the same weekend as my birthday. It was not the drunken party fest you should all want but at least I don’t have needle sores anymore. It’s really true what they say: when you want to find out who your real friends are, ask them to help you move! So I’ve got three real friends. Great thanks to the other 5 – 7 assholes! No I’m not bitter. I didn’t even tell my “friends” that I was moving up three flights! Well I think I’m almost set up and it’s about NYE so that wasn’t bad eh? When we first toured this dump, they apt managers hadn’t cleaned up, so there were iron burns in the carpet all the way down to the hard floors, fish hooks in the wall for when the previous tenants were practicing their casting skills, enough beer bottles to recycle for a three family xmas dinners and more clothes, CD jewels and crap spued around the place than well my old crack house! The place cleaned up nicely. Vaulted ceilings, a fireplace and plenty of room for a music studio and XBOX competition room. Tony Hawk is gonna get his ass kicked.

Ever had the glutinous urge to eat everything on the Outback Menu? Well I just about did after the move an on my Birthday. Time to seer up my own cows now.

Another ?great? sign of the times occurred that weekend. @Home went Chapter 11, and along with that went my internet connection. Ahhh!!! Another victim of the 2001 DotBomb Boom!!! So they’ve just ripped the nipple out of my mouth and I’m fiending for my daily dose of music, gambling and porn! I actually have to go into work after hours to do personal shit but work tracks my shit (we make the software to do this) and so I’m rerouting my IP address around the servers to get by – hope they don’t mind. But hey, everyone thinks I’m just going that extra mile… Perception is a great thing… a key element to success!

Another noted activity: Club 1015, SF on Dec. 14th

I went to check out Adam Freeland. The set was dope, but not Phat as he describes. I just think it needed more funk. Too proggy. He did have some great three turn mixes. The club, however, has gone down. This may be a combination of many things. The economy, the lack of interest in clubs, because of the limited availability of great dancable music, and that the club itself has sold out to only the mass marketed MTV generation. Since 1015 has gone big, they now only attract that crowd that wants to hear Oakie, PVD or the big named trance DJs. Most of the locals have either moved on or don’t play any more. They need to rebuild their root following and the club will come back strong. Until then it will stay a mecca for meatheads and Mix CD whores.

* I just looked up at my publication…. I’ve got to stop…I’ll get to Xmas later!!!*

I want to leave you with a great shot of one of my boys, showing off the “Euro Whip” Watch and learn. If your natural pheromones don’t work, I would learn this “ritual” to pull in females of our *and anonymous* species. Females: the new pogo-stick dance seems to be a winner to! But I can’t tell which one catches the eye of the curious male, grazing by. Watch out for the camera man, dumbass….

I might have Tourette’s… fuckin penile ass lick!!!

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Nov 272001

Damn A-Ber! has it been over a month since I updated?!? I am so lost. This last month has been a hectic fog of work, housing safaris, stress, take out, vacations, and financial reorg. I’m still in that “too busy to see” mode which is never a sovereign way to go through life. But alas… I will update later…. I said I have the big T cuz I have this annoying eye twitch going on which is caused by all this added stress. Nothin serious, I just need to meditate, or relax or maybe sleep better….

“Stress is the heart’s jailer.”

“…restless thoughts, that like a deadly swarm of hornets arm’d, no sooner found alone,
But rush upon me thronging..”
-John Milton