Entertainment

Daily Moments of Zen

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.

5. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time. (Ladies…always remember this one)

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like “The Force”. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass … then things get worse.

Lifestyle

My Aggravation with the “System”

Ahhh!!! Frustration barely scratches the ass on this one. Today was one of those take-off-of-work-to-do-work days. You really don’t get a day off when you “have-to” run errands but it must be done. And so I decided I would take my truck in to get that new tranny built on, comply with the legal system, get that “abandoned” car off the streets and even wash the blue bomber. As the prepared one, I already researched the shops, had the day planned out to the hour with trips to visit rental homes and even a *deep”* clean for my chompers at the dentist (I’ve seen this guy more in two months than I saw my other one in two years – sick or sucker? You make the call.) Anyway, I call up AAA, for some convenient roadside assistance and they send out the Tow truck. Grandpa trucker, rolls up rather quickly, asks me for my card and quickly lets me know that it’s expired. No shit. I lost the new one but obviously if I didn’t have an active account, they wouldn’t send him out. Then he tells me that he can’t tow the truck since it is not registered and HE can get a ticket if he does tow it on the street. Hmmm… So I ask him if he has ever been asked to tow unregistered vehicles by the Po-Pos. *Yes* and then how is this different? *No answer* I argue with the old man and he tells me I need a “movers-permit” to move the truck on the streets and I have to go to the DMV for this. I think we all know how much we like this place.

This could be a long post if I went through all the details, but driving to the DMV *the second time-I forgot they don’t take credit!* I call them to see if getting an appointment for 10 minutes from now will expedite the wait time. I find that it takes longer to make an appointment on the phone with these people than it does to drive your stanky ass down there and wait in line with the rest of the general public – I know, I was still on the phone, trying to make the appointment while I was waiting in the Non-Appointment line BS… Then I come up against Maria. I decided I would pay the registration, rather than just a mover permit and registration. I give Maria the details and ask for the papers. She tells me – No Smog Cert. No registration. OK but I have to be able to move the truck to a shop to get it smogged, right? *Right! so she says I should get a Movers Permit.* Great so how ’bout that? *Well you have to get your registration paid to get that*. But if I don’t have a smog check, to get my registration to get my mover’s permit… what do I do? I was actually a bit more angry, forward and irritable than this but I went around in circle reasoning hell with this DMV Dominion for about 15 minutes before she realize she could give me a provisionary registration w/o the Smog check – so I could get the damn vehicle checked!!!! I just need to put her out of commission of chop off a few fingers so she can’t work a desk job anymore – go work at BB King!!

I get the registration, call the AAA again and after an hour this time, the brotha that showed up, had no problems with towing the truck, droppin’ it off and he didn’t even take my card! What a prick! Well, I’m droppin’ the dime to get this fix, and give up the other Nissan to the rents. I’m also looking at a new ride and most of my choices are still out of my range: Fine Engineering.

I really would like to rant and rant about the way our system is so restricted by rules (got have this license, registration/insurance to drive *anything*) and much of our legal stature is a joke. I’m gonna pass right now and come back to this topic soon. I have a feeling that this won’t be the last time I have a gripe about the system.

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?
– Marion Barry

And you know Bert is Evil!

Entertainment

PROMOTE! PROMOTE! PROMOTE!!!

Well it seems that that’s been my life for the last week and will be for the next week until the 6th. The days come closer and so must the plans come together. Still haven’t met with the owner about details but it’s a club and less has to be done on my side when you don’t have to rent out your own venue, get sound, lights, blah blah blah… We meet tonight so this is *I hope* will be a short post. So..once again check the details for the Oct. 6th Party Fluid Mosaic!!!! and sign up for the mailing list for future events!!!

Went to the dentist today… first time in over a year and a half. Scary huh? I just hadn’t had medical or dental insurance in over 2 years so I’m taking the time to get all the body parts back into working order. Mike(the Frenchman scamming on all the patients/nurses…yeah I saw you lookin down the nurse’s bib!) and Kim(the yapper…just shut up and scrape please!) drilled out two fillings and replaced them, cleaned my teeth with some Ultra Sonic Scaler shit and now I have to go back to get my gums scraped out. By no means is your kiddy dentist…especially when I got the co-pay bill. DAMN!

Just to lighten things up why don’t we play some Osama Games. I got a really good rifle game at work today too but I’ll have to post that tomorrow…

“The important thing is not to stop questioning.”
~Albert Einstein

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.
~Robert Frost

Lifestyle

Wouldn’t We All Like to be Money Rounders Pulling…

So two things seem to come up more offer than most in my post work discussions. Money and Women. They both are evil, can corrupt even the strongest of men and in the world of today, the more of them you have, they really just bring more problems than solutions. Well the last one holds more true for women more than money…But alas I cannot take my damn hands off either of em. So I’ve come up with a few simple rules of wisdom, with the help of the Swingers, that can help you get both in life without too many headaches:

#1 There are No Rules in This Game. Believe it or not being genuine is much more refreshing and will get you a lot farther than bullshit.
#2 Team Play. Didn’t kindergarten teach you anything? Work together, and have fun. You’ll get more accomplished with better results. “Where’s my wingman?”
#3 Less is More. It’s not about what you say. It’s how you listen.
#4 Women Aren’t Dumb. The B side is: Money is not easy. Manipulation should be subtle and insults get you NO WHERE.
#5 Be Honest… with yourself and with your dealings. Get straight to the point. If you want the sale ask for it. Don’t be interested in the brand name when you both know you want to see the pants on the floor in your bedroom.
#6 If You Must Lie. Keep it simple and as close to the truth as possible. Lying is bad business but in some personal settings it’s needed to smoothes things over.
#7 Setting the tone. Be confident and comfortable with who and what you have. It’s attractive and presents superiority that most lack. Never apologize for anything. Focus on the benefits not the negatives.
#8 Timing is Everything. If you are pushy or early you look desperate. Be patient and casual. There’s nothing like a good entrance.
#9 Deer in the Headlights. Everyone wants a mystery. Keep it a challenge and drive the needs rather than the wants.
#10 The Law of the Jungle. The strongest will survive. The competition is fierce so always give yourself the edge. A sense of self-respect makes all the difference in the world.
#11 Never bring up old shit. Never bring up ex-boyfriends, partners, encounters or old (sour) news. It will never benefit you and you don’t need to know.
#12 Be a Bad Man. My boys and I call this Owning. Don’t hide the fact that you like sex. We aren’t 14 man. Own your sexuality and don’t apologize for it. On the money side: You want it right. Go after it!
#13 The Waiting Game. The deal goes sour without foreplay. The babies love that shit. No reason to pop off in the first round when you know it’s scheduled for 10. Again don’t be desperate and take your time boy!
#14 Grace Under Pressure. The golden rule is keep it simple. Don’t try to over explain who you are or how you’re feeling (what you are selling). In leaving a message, remind them of something shared, don’t expect them to remember you by voice and name alone.
#15 Skip the Birdseed. Sometimes it just happens. Close the deal then and there. Don’t try to over sell your position when it’s all working now.
#16 Trust Yourself. Play your game not someone else’s. Stick with what feels right. Even if you fail, you’ve learned something and use it to better yourself the next pull.

And because I’m focusing on Money and Women, well what better way to have both than with a trip to Las Vegas. Yup. I’ve booked the flight to the city of sin and next comes the love, but don’t expect me to drop money at the Chicken ranch. The next episode I’ll come with some related links…

Lifestyle

HighSide!!

The command to have everyone jump to one side of the raft to avoid rapping the boat around a rock called a banana rap, and jumping in for a swim over some boulders. Went Whitewater Rafting last weekend. Yeah it’s Thursday WTF man… I’m a little slow at updates at this point, I know. Gotta say though that it was fun. The Kern river. I had only been on the Sacramento (north and south), America(both forks) and the Russian. This was probably one of the more consistent ones. With routes through Dead Man’s curve, Horseshoe, and Heri-Kari you’ve got to have a good time. Also had some Cliff jumping and rope swinging and it’s all good!!! Picks will be loaded in a few days when I get copies. *gotta get the digi* Plus we had a personal guide that worked with us. Thanks Mike! I might be up for the Kayaking next month but I want to head to HI.

On the market watch. It’s damn crazy these times. All I hear about these days are layoffs. I wonder what’s next, who’s next? No one is immune I guess. I guess the market’s on it’s own Highside…the wrong one. In fact though this will actually be a blessing in disguise for many people. I can’t imagine wanting to go back to corporate after this. My recommendation is to take off! Go live some where else! Move out of your bubble and find something new. There’s so much world out there, why stop at Silicon Valley?