Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed .

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he’d given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I’ve become bridge and tunnel

It didn’t happen immediately. It was a slow progression, matched by the progressive elimination of homeless and petty crime in Manhattan. The change over has happened for many in this city as they’ve seen their once epicenter of art, culture, music and independence get washed out by middle American industry, commerce and tourism. The focus has moved away from the artistic scenes in Manhattan as activities that are palatable to tourists have moved in.

With that move, Brooklyn has become the new go to center for quality shows, music, art, urban fashion, and even cost appropriate food. Specific for this discussion, however, is the music scene and the movement of quality electronic, reggae, punk and hip hop artist shows to BK. I’m now a commuter over the bridges or in the tunnels when I want to hear A-Trak, Pharoahe Monch or Against Me! play in New York as they head to Queens or Brooklyn as venues in Manhattan continue to close or cater only to mainstream artists.

The latest quality party I’ve been too is Sunday’s Best is now getting such wide attention that the NY Times put out a story on it. Here’s the article and reproduced here…

LAST Sunday, under a slowly revolving disco ball, a dance floor in Brooklyn was jumping. The German D.J. Losoul spun techno and house, and the crowd — many in it wearing sunglasses — moved, two-stepping and twirling with arms raised. Toward the end of the party, when he let a single beat crescendo for several minutes before abruptly cutting it off, the crowd cheered — and then booed. The fun was nearly over, and it was barely 9 p.m.

Clubgoers at Saturday’s Warm Up event at the P.S. 1 Contemporary Art Center, which featured the Detroit D.J. Daniel Bell.

The scene could have been at any sweaty club, with velvet ropes and pricey drinks, but instead it was somewhere much more low key: outdoors, on the banks of the Gowanus Canal, in the daytime. The club was Bklyn Yard, a bit of patchy grass with a few dance platforms that has become a destination for electronica fans on weekend afternoons. (The sunglasses were not just for effect.)

On Sunday hundreds of people gathered for a lazy good time, hanging out by the water, on picnic benches and folding chairs, in a landscape that is at once bucolic and industrial.

As the afternoon sun faded, Christmas lights strung through the treetops flared on, giving the increasingly packed dance floor a cozy glow. Not long after the moon rose over the rooftops, the water towers and the disco ball, it was time to go home.

Aficionados of dance music are used to waiting until the wee hours to catch top-of-the-line talent. But especially in summer an array of early parties, some outdoors, offer a respite from late nights and expensive clubs, allowing people with day jobs the opportunity to hear the latest in experimental beats and still be at the office on time in the morning.

“I go to the clubs, but not very often; it’s hard to fit it in for a working person like myself,” said Matthijs Koopmans, 52, an educational consultant from the Bronx and a fan of D.J.’s like Sasha and Digweed and Danny Tenaglia. Instead Mr. Koopmans frequents another long-running afternoon party, the Warm Up series at P.S. 1 Contemporary Art Center in Queens. He was there on opening weekend last Saturday to hear the Detroit D.J. Daniel Bell.

“I’ve never seen him before, but I was very excited because his albums are great,” Mr. Koopmans said, bopping his gray head, earplugs firmly in place, amid a sea of exceptionally dressed younger people. “I want to stay in touch with this kind of music. I think it’s worth the effort.”

Along with P.S. 1 and Bklyn Yard, whose parties both end at 9 p.m., the Water Taxi Beaches regularly host daytime dancing with a view, and smaller spaces in Brooklyn and Manhattan do after-work events indoors.

The line-ups at these early affairs, sometimes called tea parties, include established D.J.’s from Europe, Canada and techno hubs like Detroit who normally play to thousands at megaclubs. The glam Été d’Amour party, which is free and starts at brunch time on Sundays on the Hotel on Rivington’s penthouse, has featured Dimitri From Paris and Alex From Tokyo. (The stellar view is the Lower East Side, from the terrace.)

Alex From Tokyo is also scheduled to play next week at a new monthly party, Treehouse, at Frank’s Lounge in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, a scruffy setting meant to counteract the scale and attitude at regular club events. Instead of being “surrounded by a gazillion people who don’t actually dance so much as look for ‘companionship’ and get wasted to the hugest beats around,” the idea was something more like a house party for serious technoheads, Piotr Orlov, a D.J. who started Treehouse with two 30-something friends, wrote in an e-mail message.

The intimacy and the chance to perform for an ultra-devoted fan base help attract headliners like the British D.J. Kieran Hebden, he added, even at the un-witching hour of 9 p.m.

The lower stakes at the day parties — where cover charges are typically far less than the cost of a single drink at a megaclub — also offer the chance to hear new talent. This weekend the Sunday Best party at Bklyn Yard will feature Kyle Hall, a 17-year-old house music phenom from Detroit who counts that city’s best underground D.J.’s as his mentors. (The promoters of the party got permission from Mr. Hall’s father to book him.)

Of course part of the appeal of many of the daytime parties is that they are G-rated. “People can bring their babies and their dogs,” said Justin Carter, a D.J. and promoter who is a host of Sunday Best. Since its start last year it has doubled in popularity, attracting an average of 600 people weekly.

Snacks sweeten the deal at day parties: burgers and the like at P.S. 1 and Water Taxi; a cosmopolitan brunch at Été d’Amour; a gourmet hot dog stand and a taco vendor from the Red Hook ball fields at Bklyn Yard. Kiss & Tell, a monthly party at Rose Live Music in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, does $5 vegetarian pasta dinners and theme nights: Warhol Factory, Revenge of the Nerds and, up next, polka dots.

For after-work parties food is as much the focus as music. Last summer Greg and Darin Bresnitz, 27, twin brothers who are D.J.’s under the name Finger on the Pulse, started a monthly barbecue pairing name chefs and musicians on the patio at Hope Lounge in Williamsburg.

Entry is free; $5 buys a plate of food. Menus have included tacos from the celebrated food truck Calexico and pulled pork from Egg, a beloved local restaurant; indie stalwarts like Tim Harrington of Les Savy Fav have played D.J. (At the next BBQ, on July 29, the chef Sam Mason mans the grill, and the Harlem Shakes, a Brooklyn band, are on the decks.) The mood is chill hipster hangout.

“I would love to say that these are totally wild orgiastic events,” Greg Bresnitz said, “but they’re not. People come in groups and eat a meal together and catch up.” The soundtrack and the low price make it more than a regular night out.

But for most electronica fans the music and the dance floor are all that’s needed. With an early cut-off, daytime parties get people moving sooner, said Rob Jalil, 36, a graphic design firm director and D.J. who came to Sunday Best. “It’s quite a condensed experience,” he said.

New York actually has a long tradition of tea parties, said Derrick Odom, 42, a D.J. and music producer and veteran of the scenes at Body and Soul, Studio 54 and Danceteria.

Mr. Odom, who came to the P.S. 1 opening party in a Paradise Garage T-shirt, is hoping to start his own in Long Island City, Queens. “It doesn’t have to be dark to get people to dance,” he said. “I love to do daytime, go home at midnight and take a shower and be ready for work and be able to say I sweat it out — even though people look better at night.”

Pharaohe Monch – Desire
[audio:Desire.mp3]

My Top 90’s Movie Soundtrack Videos

Do you remember actually buying soundtrack CDs in the 90’s? It’s been awhile even now where I’ve said, wow that movie had a great soundtrack, but back in the 90’s I had stacks of them: Mo Money, Friday, Forrest Gump, The Crow, Swingers, Trainspotting, and Pulp Fiction to name a few. But when those sounds were paired with the visual element of the MTV video, both the movie and the artist benefited immensely. Here’s my top 10 particularly great tracks from film and complementary videos. BTW, I don’t remember where I saw this idea first, so respect to the original blogger I read it from. Comments welcome if I missed (m)any:

From The Last of the Mohicans
The theme from The Last of the Mohicans by Randy Edelman & Trevor Jones

You know exactly what I’m talking about when I say, as soon as you start to hear those strings start up, a chill slowly creeps up your arm. The theme is perfect for building suspense at the end and is one of my many favorite films of all time – I worked in a theater when this was released and had to have seen this movie 50 times. Unfortunately there’s no traditional video but many versions of weird screen grab montages created by YouTubers with too much time on their hands. The below clip has actual video from the movie including parts of the best 2 minute, line-less climax of all film. “Stay alive. I will find you!”

From Boomerang
Hot Sex on a Platter by A Tribe Called Quest

You know the obvious choice from this movie was Boys to Men’s – End of the Road. I mean come on! If you didn’t hear this song at the end of any High School dance, then you were never there long enough (youtube link through). The video isn’t all that good, but it does highlight all the hotties from the flick and if you’re not head bobbin to this track, you just weren’t a fan of 90’s hip hop. Mmmm Robin Givens…. Strangé baby! Strangé!

From Mo’ Money
Ice Cream Dream by MC Lyte

I remember now, I owned the cassette soundtrack, and this tape was burned up in my player from use. I went through a big R&B phase and with Ralph Tresvant, Johnny Gill, Luther Vandross, Mint Condition and Janet on this soundtrack, it got a lot of play. MC Lyte, however, was a pioneer artist in hip hop, being one of the few female MCs with better flow than many of the men in the game. This video highlights the style of half the hip hop videos in the 90’s: circled dance offs in make shift street clubs, solo dancers in random corners or locations, the baggy gear, artist shots throwing down verses and the DJ. The click through to this available here on Youtube but VH1 at least knows how to promote music:

From The Lion King
Circle of Life by Elton John

I’ll secretly admit I enjoyed this film even though at the time of it’s release, there was no way I’d see an animated Disney film in the theater or at home for that matter. You gotta give props to pairing the rockstar animators with an equally representative artist in Elton:

From Reality Bites:
My Sharona by The Knack

Reality Bites, was a classic GenX film watched by anyone that also had Slacker, Breakfast Club, Threesome, Clerks and Singles in their early 90s viewing repertoire. This 1979 classic was revived by the movie and without any research would say it single handly helped sell this sound track. Click through for the video (don’t watch the whole thing, you’ll be singing it all day) – apparently the “smart” people at Image Music Group don’t like free promotion, hopefully the below still comes through:

From Trainspotting
Born Slippy by Underworld

For me this soundtrack was always in the player, and I couldn’t just pick one, so beside the defining moment track above, Lust for Life had to be included:

Lust For Life
by Iggy Pop
Unfortunately the assholes at Capitol Records disabled embedding on Youtube, so here’s the video from another source. The video mashes scense of Iggy with shots of the film highlighting the wicked life style of the characters of the film. With Iggy still alive today, he’s lived harder and threw more than all the Trainspotting characters combined:

From The Crow
Burn from The Cure

I rotated this disc around my player many times, loving most of the bands here: STP, Pantera, Rollins Band, Nine Inch Nails, and Rage, but The Cure, and this collection of shots from the movie, gives the viewer a 6 minute preview of the entire movie. The song and video are excellent and a great argument that you don’t need added filler from the band or an additional plot line to make a good soundtrack video. RIP Brandon Lee.

From Dangerous Minds:
Gangstar’s Paradise by Coolio

Before Coolio had a reality show on the Oxygen network he was growing up in Compton and smoking through Fantastic Voyages. I love the beginning of the video with the Michelle Pfeiffer cameo. Nothing creates an ominous scene like a petite blond lady dressed in leather sitting in the dark with random babies crying. “As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death …” You know the words – dope video:

From Friday:
Keep Their Heads Ringin by Dr.Dre

My number one video in the Soundtrack category is Dre. Dre and crew started taking hip hop music videos to a new level, adding their own visual story that seamed like a parallel version of the lyrical flow and in this case, still adding elements of the movie to tie it all in. I can still hear my JL Audio 10s in the back of my hatchback thumping hard to this one. “I know your bobbin your head… cuz I can see it…Yeeeaaahhh!”