People of Wal-Mart! Don’t come to NYC

The last time I shopped here was for Christmas in 2008, I bought headphones for the iPod. They broke several times and I had the worst time trying to get them returned or replaced. I’ve given up on this store and now this comes out that they’ve been heavily lobbying Albany, NY to get a store in NYC – they had labor Union issues and their PR woes continue. Do you really want this coming to YOUR neighborhood:

Not quite a ‘Situation’

This week I had a friend in town that I hadn’t seen since I was last at Cal Poly; we’ll call him Marc. Marc’s working on 4 months of a long distance relationship, as I had in 2004, however, he’s in the Bay Area, and she’s in Philly (not much difference really to my LA-NY torture). I openly offered the 2nd bedroom in my apartment for them both to crash for the weekend because I know when trying to make a limited physical relationship work, you’ll need to save all the money you can for cross country flights (and get together as often as possible is my recommendation).

Even when you’ve lived in a city for years, decades, or all your life, sometime you’re too close to the “trees” to see the “forest”. I love the opportunity to have outsiders come in and give me a perspective of what they want out of New York. We let the love birds pick our Saturday evening, and ended up going to the Naked Comedy Showcase on Sat at the People’s Improve Theater (The PIT).

I love comedy but they rarely have good food so we started with a local sushi joint and plenty of sake and Sapporo. The PIT is a 2nd floor single room theater located on a deserted Flatiron block. After ascending a narrow stairway, I immediately had a good feel about the evening when the counter clerks, well stocked in bow ties and tweed, offered $4 Stellas throughout the show. However, they didn’t mention the clothing requirements (or lack there of) when we entered…

I had no expectations for the show. I was going in “naked” so to speak, however, I didn’t realize how literal that was until I sat down in the third row (in case there was awkward nakedness I wanted to conceal by the heads in front of me). While chatting with the petite brimmed smiling man in front of us, he stood up and completely disrobed in the manner an early riser would peeping for a shower. An announcement was made to remind the audience that nudity was encouraged, especially in our section, by the viewers as much as it was a requirement of the talent that night.

Sorry, I hadn’t prepped my birthday suit for public revealing yet… wasn’t going to happen.

I don’t think this was what my out-of-town friends has been expecting, especially Marc as he squirmed a little closer to his girlfriend. The show opened with a fully naked Andy Ofiesh emerging confidently from stage right and I instantly “got” the comedy as did the audience. Smiles, shock and wonderment spread quickly as we all stole glances at this untanned, pudgy, red haired man standing in front of us grinning with his thimble size protuberance resting on top of a racquetball sized scrotum. Wow. I guess you have to laugh for a moment.

Most comedy is adult oriented and this just takes it to the next level as Andy, a long standing nudist before comedian, started with “my penis is fun size; you can fit the whole thing your mouth,”. The audience became increasingly more comfortable over the period of the hour as they warmed to each comic’s self awareness and at many times self deprecating humor. 5 men and 1 women, followed Andy, performing in the buff some really good comedy. Those that know me, know I can’t remember or tell a joke to save my life, so I’ll leave that to the professionals and recommend it to all to just try this showcase out for an evening. However, if you’ll be dropping trou, please bring a towel for the chairs and any bar/bathroom breaks (located in the lobby) you may need to take during the show.

Marc and lady wanted to hit the NY club scene, which these days I’ll respond rhetorically under my breath “What scene?”. Marc being about 9 years younger than I had more interest in the “Jersey Shore” styled clubs of Vegas and NY so I pointed them to Crimson – a new spot in the Flatiron with a party hosted by Dirt Nasty (a Hollywood based Crunk-Pop “Rapper” – I don’t know, I’ve never heard of him).

If expressing my ignorance of Dirt to Marc didn’t date me as an “Old”, then the idea that I would pass on the fist pumping party at Crimson may have. Although researching Dirt for this post, I realize now there’s enormous irony for Dirt to start his US tour at the latest Christian Audigier fashion themed club, promoting his latest track “Fuck Ed Hardy“.

Dirt Nasty, Andy Milonakis & Rich Hil – Fuck Ed Hardy

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I didn’t actually get to take photos today. Instead of the club I still went out for wine and beers with the lady and then whiskeys with the boys. We all woke around 11 only Marc got 4 less hours of sleep than I and I still felt two times worse (more Old). We had a good brunch at Jane, mostly because I didn’t have to deal with the typical 30 min. to hr wait with most of the tourists on this wet Sunday.

Here’s a shot from when Washington Square was nice last fall and this LA man trying to do his best impression of The Situation.