Austin Vegas Dot Com

So my boy, “Asshole”, has a birthday and of coz he decides to roll hard - which means no other than Las Vegas weekend! Got the pimp suites at the Hard Rock and rolled out on Friday the 9th. Of course I had to be the fortunate one getting there and get the wicked crazy cabbie and he hits a BMW on the way to the airport… bastard had to wait for one-time to come and file reports before the replacement cab could come as I watched my flight take off over head…

Finally got to the port and had to sit standby with a cardiac convention group and finally wrestled on to the next plan 2 hours later… not without additional issues - some girl had “connections” with American Airlines and was on the flight without a ticket - of course she was in my seat and the airline wasn’t about to boot the VP’s daughter so they kicked off this other family that was waiting standby before me instead. With 3 shots of patron into the party at the airport, I wasn’t in the mood to give up my seat again for another 2 hour wait on the ground for a new flight… I was off!

Landed, cab, checked in, straight to the ‘ool… but it’s Easter weekend and it was light on tourists and locals. No matter, hit the float up black jack and after catching up on the buzz was already up about a hundo…

The boys came through and we caught up on the times, we ended up that first evening at the Joint with a table…The place was slow and empty but the music wasn’t even good hip hop - This should have been the first clue that decisions while drinking should not be made… I wouldn’t say this was a bad choice…but …um … yeah it was… so top 40 dance choons and kooks everywhere so we drank 2 bottles of vodka quick but before we could head out to the next spot, the staff was kickin people out the door already… damn! So off to the tables again… mistake No.2 I not only lost my winings but went down 400 - not a whale’s size loss but for someone needing that money for rims next week, yeah I didn’t like that one bit…

I joined the crew for late night eats and ended up crashing out around 9 am… a little early right, ah well there’s the next night…

Next afternoon - like 12 went back to the pool and started on the buckets of Miller, Corona, and Bud light… again another light day at the pool but who cares we were loaded and clowning on the friends and fools around the ‘ool….

Sippin by time and then comes the evening… We hit up Hamada Japan for dinner with the crew. It’s like Benihanas but with a little less of the decor. We had 30 peeps which means we had to commender the whole back room for Big B’s birthday din-din. Well it’s Vegas so I went big with the Kobe beef and lobster tail. Great choice! and no you can’t have a piece…well maybe one, pass me the sake!

Off to the Ghost Bar, another booth/tabel, another couple of bottles of vodka - the view, some dancing and good times - next the Rain. Rain was a little bit of a blur but I know I passed 3 hours there and then some how I ended up at the cocktail lounge with three random people from the east coast, halfway laughing at the mock comedy and lounge act. Smoking a stogie and a drink in had with an umbrella (which I know! I didn’t order so I think I accidentally took someone else’s drink or someone bought me this crap).

I don’t know if it was the lounge, the umbrella drink or the loss of my friends that snapped me into a some what sober attitude but I know it was getting close to early in the morning - like 3:00 am and left the lounge with a quickness. As I walked outside I noticed some of the party getting into a Hummer limo (it was a limo… but i think in my mind it was a hummer limo - who knows, someone help me out with this… ) We were head to some club in the Aladan… don’t remember what it was called and I know I didn’t pay to get in but we did get a booth. We weren’t impressed with the service or the club and decided to bounce early before we couldn’t make any other rounds.

So now we’re racking up the points: 2 bottles of champagne, 3 bottles of Vodka (or Rum - it tasted thin), 2 hukkas and some mixers later - hmm wasn’t there only like 6 of us (no correction about 12)? Well the music at the Aladin club was deep underground house - nice but kinda boring and repetitive stuff - DJ’s fault here (or was it a CD?). I wanted something more pick me up but to pass the time we drank, we yelled, we threw things, we were the only ones there so who was going to complain? Then we looked around and thought: Wait… we ARE the only ones here! OK this sucks - let’s go get some action!!! so we decided to take the party somewhere else. One of the girls we were with stuck 2 bottles of half empty Absolute down her pants, another dude tried to take a hukka with him and someone else grabed another bottle (but it didn’t come from our table so who knows) and we headed back outside to the limo. This time we are stacked with crusing juice and we head to Drais… We found Duck on the side of the club line (of course) and were able to walk right in… Thanks D! owe you

It was even slow at Drais tonight but that may also be because the club is played out - who knows we had fun… Its a new spot for us tonight but who wants to uproot the party again so we stayed and continued to get our drank on again. Well over our “Vegas limit” I think I drank myself to sobriety and had enough to say I gotta go (I think the other drunks thought I meant to the bathroom) and as I got up and walked… I continued to walk and then went straight out to the exit and kept walkin… done… got outside and realized it was 11 am on Sunday… Shit! my flight is at 3!

Taxi to the hotel and then slept till about 1:30… I woke up and had THE WORST Vegas hang over ever…(little did I know it was going to get worse)… As I sat in the terminal, it spun, it shook, and all the klinky, bliky and noisy slots were chipping away any sanity I had left. *blink* ohh fingers to the temples.. it’s going to be ok… got a smoothy and a gallon of water. I proceeded to sit crouched over by the gate terminal. I let the ticket clerk know if he saw me passed out to wake me for my flight.. luckily that wasn’t necessary… I made it.

As the flight took off from Vegas I realized … wow, I ate once and had a snack on sat morning - and on top of that drank more liters of liquor than most college seniors… and I was no senior… I started to sweat, nauseate, sway and spin. I felt like what you initially think scurvy sounds like - just poisoned. Saying “Just get through this” “think of your bed” and “where can I pull the trigger”….

gawd… that was the worst flight I have ever had and honestly not my best trip to Vegas… I ended up winning back some of the losses but I still came back with a fuzzy memory of stale clubs and lips to plastic cups of liquid repel…

Next trip will be better!!!